hiiiiiii, mother fuckeeeeers!!!!

you know, you know sometimes, sometimes people say to me «Rose, when was the first time you ever heard the blues?». and you know what i tell 'em? «the day i was born.».

you know why? you know why? 'cause i was born a woman.

aaaaaah! ooooooh! we got some noisy females in the house tonight! i do like to hear that high-pitched sound, you know i do.

oh, being a woman is so interesting, don't you find it?

what are we ladies, what are we? we are waitresses at the banquet of life! get into that kitchen and rattle them pots and pans... and you better look pretty god-damned good doing it too, or else you gonna lose your good thing! oooooh! and why do we dot that, why do we do that? i tell you why we do that. we do that to find looove. ih, i love to be in love, don't you love to be in love?

ain't it just great to be in love? oh, ain't it wonderful? isn't it wonderful to be in love? ain't it just grand, laying there late at night in bed waiting for your man to show up? and when he finally does, round about four o'clock in the morning, with whiskey on his breath and the smell of another woman on his person... oh, honey i can smell another woman at five hundred paces! that's a easy one to catch!

so what do you do when he comes home with the smell of another woman on him? do you say, «oh, honey, let me open up my loving arms and my loving legs! dive right in, baby, the water's fine!».

is that what you say, girls?! or do you say «pack your bags! i'm putting on my little waitress cap and my fancy high heel shoes. I'm gonna go find me a real man, a good man, a true man, a man to love me for sure.»

you know i tell you something, i tell you something: i thought... at one time i actually thought i found myself one. i did, i thought i found myself one. when he... when he... when he old me in his arms....



este é o texto do concert monologue que antecede o when a man loves a woman que mostro aqui graças ao iu tube. na verdade não era bem isto que eu gostava que vissem, o que eu queria era mesmo que apreciassem a bette midler a explicar às noisy females que lá estavam na house, como é que resolviam aquela coisa que sucede quando os maridos das noisy females chegam a casa com o smell of another woman on his person. como tal não é possível, façam um favor a vós próprios, vão à fnac, vejam o preço do the rose, entrem depois ali ao lado na worten e comprem o dvd. sério, palavra de pitx.

e depois? bom, depois, deixem-se ficar a ver o alan bates, barbudo, fazer umas cenas do caneco, ou deliciem-se com uma das minhas cenas favoritas do cinema americano que é o espectáculo de drag queens num bar onde a personagem costuma cantar.

respeito!